It will be what it will be…..not what you plan!

This summer was supposed to be all about me! I had a dream of walking 5 miles day, singing everyday, making a dent in the list of a 100 songs that every jazz singer should know, and what I looked forward to more than anything else was going out to sing every night. Well, that is not how I’ve spent the last month and a half. The last day of the school year was June 26 and for the next three mornings I woke up at 5 and walkied 5 miles…it felt good no it was better than good it felt GREAT!

Then the universe took over…..there are no mistakes …so the fact that when I tried to get out of bed I screamed in pain must be part of a master plan. The pain became so intense that if I rolled over on my right side I was in excruciating pain regardless of how many pain meds I’d taken to fall asleep. Needless to say I have been beside my self. I was supposed to be on stage in every dive from here to NY singing my heart out. My GP couldn’t do anything about the pain or determine the cause so it was labeled a sciatica episode. Except this felt nothing like previous episodes. So I had an MRI and began the long wait to have the results analysed by a top nuero surgeon. The wait ended yesterday the first thing Dr. H———-n asked me was if I could live with the pain. I explained, “if it remains the way it is at this moment yes…as long as I get up,and do some yoga and Pilate stretches and take the occasional muscle relaxer just before the pain becomes unbearable”

He then began to explain to me that I have exstensive damage to the spine and that I have stenosis, a herniated disc and possibly arthritis in my right hip! The only cure surgery on my spine!! I’ve always said that I would never let anyone operate on my back. In fact, for the next year I’m going to live in pain and handle the challenge. I now know that I can never do any cardio nothing that will put pressure on my spine and hip. Walking those beautiful 5 miles for three days is what triggered the episode that’s aimed a laser beam of light on a degenerative condition.

Make plans just be ready to roll with the changes that the universe may impose!!

The wonderful thing that’s come out of this surprising summer is that I embrace and visualize being able to sing, teach with love and intention and write. I am removing all mentally imposed restrictions from my dreams. I can and I will just BE!!!